Posted on September 17, 2005 at 22:46:51.
In Reply to: |Sadegh Hedayat, suicide and the recent discussions| posted by RN
A morbid snack
By Vauung
The plane of despair is entirely positive, even insanely positive, since it is nothing at least, or no less than nothing, a radical annihilation of all hope and commitment, evacuated of all emotional tonality. In this sense of utter, tranquil, consummated senselessness, there is nothing less suicidal than pure despair, or perfect ruination. In the Catatract suicide loses all consequence, because it would make no difference whatsoever, solving or relieving nothing.
It is only ‘here’ – absolutely submerged upon the Catatract or Catadrome, at the limit of a descent beyond vertical dimensionality -- that negativity can find no place at all, no purchase. Rather than negating or transgressing the Survival Economy, despair sinks it to its zero-degree, drawing it down to the facile abyss where survival doesn’t matter in the slightest, where it finds its pure anhedonic insignificance. “Did I really commit a suicide after all?" It doesn’t matter, or it matters to the zeroth degree, where anything at all could happen (for no reason). That is why so much that you say of suicide can be switched across to radical despair, once it reaches its limit as the “unground of countless things” or “very end of Oneself” -- an illimitable expanse of zero metric dimensions, a perpetual dissolution of all horizons.
This is the consummate, transcendentally potentiated despair which can be called [my favourite description] “the ultimate horror we try to survive. It is life and its abomination, the unlife or the life-satan (Druj-)”
Indifference to survival, a mortal breach in the Survival Economy, comes to exhaust the resources of survival, parasitizes it, makes of it the practical affect of zombie flesh. The flat-lined zombie body, disengaged from all intentional vitality, supports a protracted despair no less immaculate than an ECG whine -- providing “a Good Meal” … a feeding-ground …
This opening of Reza’s – this act of virtual butchery - seems highly suggestive as to the ‘discipline’ required to ‘call’ Druj. A call that must be without expectation, without any possibility of relief or fulfillment, and also which arises spontaneously, unchosen and inevitable at a threshold of absolute, indefinitely prolonged abandonment.
Druj the pitiless, the unresponsive, who comes only to those utterly without hope, answering nothing.
Druj to whom no prayer or appeal is conceivable.
She who is indistinguishable from a necessarily unwanted and therefore exorbitant contact, an infinitely horrible jagged thrill, implacably alien to judgement, measure or location, occurring only in the desolation of absolute despair – frozen beyond feeling -- where desire is a dead ruin.
This is to make of Druj the model of Abominable Encounter, “Anonymous-until-Now” announced as impalpable impact or grating intangibility – a meeting despair alone can host.
It calls for a cryptic, surreptitious, intricate and elaborated suicide, zombie suicide, adaptation to the Dark Mother of strategem and secrecy.
Suicide everything that hopes, even if it hopes merely for death.